My heart is very full of joy today. Not only do I have the best husband in the world…a man who is loving, patient and kind, and so very understanding when I need to be left alone because early pregnancy is kicking my rear…I also have the best kidlets in the world! That makes all the pregnancy woes well worth it…and today’s appointment increased the joy exponentially.
A couple of weeks ago I went in for a quick ultrasound due to some nasty side/back pain. The hope was that it was just a kidney infection…the fear was appendix or ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully I was able to see the little flutterbug in the right place with a beautiful fluttering heartbeat. Everything measured right on for 9 weeks and after a round of antibiotics (again), I felt quite a bit better. But anyone who has been pregnant after going through a loss, knows that the little part at the back of the brain that has to worry and analyze every little thing often has a tendency to get louder and louder.
I knew there was a little flutterbug at 9 weeks…and a couple of times during the quietest part of the night I thought for sure felt a few flutters…but that nagging little part of the brain couldn’t be happy about anything. This morning it was quite unhappy. Today was the point all the times before when everything went horribly wrong. Today, in the past, had been a very hard day.
But today is now a day of Joy! I can not explain the pure joy it was to see the little flutterbug bouncing all over and hear that beautiful fluttering heart sound. My heart is full! And I’m so very full of gratitude to my God and Savior for giving us this amazing blessing. My heart is full!
(I’m going to try to attach the short video of the little flutterbug rolling away from the ultrasound. Pure Joy!)